I like to call myself a founding father of dating apps. Back in 2012, when Tinder first launched, I was one of the first brave souls to download it. The app was so new that it felt more like a social experiment than a matchmaking tool. The dating pool was small, and the concept of swiping was revolutionary. My friend and I downloaded it together, and it quickly became a shared experience. We would spend hours comparing matches and laughing at the ridiculous messages we received.
One of my most vivid memories from that time involves my friend’s early foray into dating apps. She started seeing a guy, and for a while, things seemed to be going well. We had a tradition where I’d pick her up, we’d grab McDonald’s, and sit in my car, talking and laughing for hours. It was our way of decompressing and analyzing the chaos of our dating lives.
But then, things started to go south. The guy she was seeing grew distant. He stopped replying to her calls and texts, and her angst and anxiety grew with each passing day. She called me crying one night, completely heartbroken. I told her, “I’m picking you up. We’re getting McDonald’s, and we’ll talk about it.”
I lied. We were not going to talk about it.
A Drive-By Investigation
After picking her up and grabbing our Happy Meals, I drove us straight to his house. I was tired of the hypothetical excuses we’d been making for him: “Maybe he’s busy,” "Maybe he's pooping," “Maybe he’s sick,” “Maybe his dog died.” I needed answers—and I was determined to find them.
We slowly drove past his house. And there he was, lounging in his living room with a blanket over his lap, his feet kicked all the way up, and his phone in his hand. Not a care in the world. And also, why don't you have curtains? My friend burst into tears, and my blood boiled. How could someone be so nonchalant while ghosting someone who genuinely cared about them?
Fueled by anger and frustration, I grabbed my phone and asked her for his number. Without hesitation, I dialed. He picked up after one ring. One ring! What an ass!
This was 2012, and ghosting was still a relatively new concept. It felt like a slap in the face—a harsh rejection with no explanation. She cried the entire ride home, and I let her, offering silent support as we processed the situation together.
From Ghosting to Happily Ever After
It took her awhile to recover from that experience. But she did. She got back on the apps, and not long after, she met the man she’s now happily married to. That ghoster became nothing more than a footnote in her love story, a blip on the radar of her journey to finding real love.
Reflecting on the Evolution of Dating Apps
Since downloading Tinder in 2012, I have had my fair share of experiences on dating apps. The ups and downs of modern dating are not for the weak. And although we've come so far since 2012, I can positively say we're all in this together. I believe that if you are learning from the experiences you face, it makes it all worth it.
xoxo,
Alejandra