Sometimes, you decide to give someone a chance after years of keeping them at arm's length. That’s exactly what happened when I agreed to go on a date with a guy who had been sliding into my DMs for years. I never took him seriously, but recently, someone who knew him vouched for him. They said he was a genuinely nice guy and worth a shot. I thought, “Why not?” So, I folded and agreed to give him a chance.
He promised me a really nice date, and I’ll admit, I was curious to see how things would play out. When I arrived, he greeted me with flowers and chocolates. That was such a sweet and thoughtful gesture, and I couldn’t help but feel a little charmed. It was a strong start, and I thought, “Maybe I misjudged him.”
But as the evening unfolded, things took an unexpected turn. From the moment we sat down, he launched into a monologue about his life. And I mean his entire life. The conversation (if you could call it that) quickly turned into a deep dive into his struggles, his adversities, and all the challenges he’d faced growing up. It wasn’t just a brief mention of his hardships either—it was a full-on trauma dump.
I could barely get a word in. Every time I tried to steer the conversation in another direction or share something about myself, he would circle back to his struggles. It was overwhelming, to say the least. I’m an empathetic person, and I understand that people sometimes feel the need to open up when they’re nervous. Maybe he thought he needed to compensate by proving he’d overcome so much. But honestly, it was too much, too soon.
By the end of the night, I already knew there wouldn’t be a second date. While I can appreciate his vulnerability and the fact that he trusted me enough to share so much, the lack of balance in the conversation was a dealbreaker. A first date should be about getting to know each other, not a therapy session.
Looking back, I don’t regret giving him a chance. It confirmed what I’d suspected all along: that he wasn’t the right fit for me. Sometimes, you have to trust your instincts, even when someone else’s opinion makes you second-guess yourself. He might be a really nice guy—and he probably is—but he’s just not the right guy for me.
What I learned from this experience is that a good first impression—like flowers and chocolates—can only go so far. The real connection happens in the conversation, in the give and take, and in the way two people can make each other feel seen and heard. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case here.
So, here’s to moving on, learning from the experience, and continuing the journey of finding someone who truly aligns with me.
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Alejandra