Over the past few years, I've found myself reflecting deeply on friendships, and it feels like I’ve changed a lot in how I see them. Friends who once felt like a safe space now, in some cases, feel like a drain. My focus has shifted to making room for healthy, mutual connections and distancing from those that leave me feeling overwhelmed. There’s one friendship, in particular, that’s been weighing heavily on me, and it’s reached a point where I need to create some serious boundaries.
I’ve always valued friendship, especially female friendship, for the support, laughter, and shared experiences it brings. But lately, I’ve felt desensitized, and I realize it’s because so many of my relationships now revolve around the other person’s needs, problems, and expectations. I have a friend who’s been, to put it bluntly, suffocating me. Every interaction we have seems to center on her life, her challenges, her triumphs. And while I genuinely want to support her, I need space for my own voice, too.
As an adult with plenty of my own stresses—my business, my responsibilities as a mother, my mental well-being—it's become exhausting to constantly absorb someone else’s issues without the chance to share my own. This friendship has been one-sided for a while now, and every time I try to interject or share something personal, I find myself interrupted or quickly redirected back to her. There’s no space for me, my son, or the life I’m juggling.
So, I know it’s time to have a hard conversation. I need to explain that this friendship needs balance. I need to say, "Hey, I need space to talk, too. I need to feel heard." It’s a tough thing to say to someone, especially when I care about them. But I know I can’t keep letting myself be drowned out in someone else’s world.
Friendship is supposed to be a give-and-take. We’re supposed to hold each other up, celebrate each other, and make room for both of our needs. I know I’m not alone in this struggle, especially as life gets busier and our emotional energy becomes more precious. I hope anyone out there who’s struggling with a friendship like this finds the courage to set those boundaries, to demand the reciprocity that true friendship deserves. We all need to be heard. We all deserve friendships that leave us feeling full, not depleted.
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